poem

How could he say he knew her,
when he'd only seen her skin,
not bothering to find the world she hides,
that's buried deep within.
But she had heard his ribs all creak,
behind each plaited vine,
When he had only touched the waterfall,
that cascaded down her spine.
He'd said to her, "loving someone is harder than you assume,
so don't go thinking that I love you now, and definitely not this soon."
But he had not been here long enough,
to see her new love start,
or find the ruined castle,
that lay implanted in her heart.
She had explored all the branches,
that were wrapped around each lung,
swaying with the breezes,
that she so longed to touch her tongue.
He said, "Don't mark me with your footprints,
I plan to leave too soon."
and with that her world just crumbled,
and her heart span round the room.
She knew that day that he broke her heart,
not just once but once again,
that love truly wasn't like the ones written down in ink and pen.
But anyone who saw,
 how fondly she'd still look,
knew in just an instant,
 how strongly she was hooked.

Course work (style model 1) UNFINISHED DRAFT

So this story, this part of my life, begins with my first diagnoses at the age of thirteen. I was wasting my time in front of the TV, when my parents attempted to soundlessly edge their way through to the sitting room, i don't know whether this was an attempt to soften the unavoidably devastating news, like their heavy footsteps would make it harder, but nevertheless the news shot me down. The background noise of the TV drowned out the details of what my parents were explaining but I didn't care. My shocked body didn't even notice that the cat had wandered in and shat on the floor.

That first sense of a genuine shock was intensely unsettling. At thirteen, i was entering a phase where I needed to fit in. A phase where popular opinion of those around you dictates your every move. I could feel it creeping up on me as my friends began to regroup and when people started to gain knowledge of my diagnosis; others eyes clung to my skin in the school corridor, i no longer 'fit in'. I wanted to turn round and scream at these onlookers, these nosey 'need to know' scavengers: "I AM NOT ABNORMAL". But i was. There was no running from the fact. I was abnormal. The word shrieked at me from every hospital letter; my peers delicate approach to talking to me; my parents' newly resurrected sympathy became a loop hole to getting what i wanted but it was the kind of sympathy you get when you're two and you graze your knee. I became an object that shouldn't be allowed out of the heavily packed box, and this frustrated me on an enormous level. Pushed off guard by a hormone secreting brain tumour, my ever so important social status was crushed, for the next year those around me named me "the brain tumour girl" behind my back and my self confidence was in shreds. This beginning experience was probably subconsciously exaggerated due to my teenage brain telling me that everything was to come crashing down. It wasn't. It didn't. My mental stability fluctuated massively between the ages of fourteen/fifteen. But aside from that my diagnosis was actually strengthening for me, not only because i was forced to haul myself out of bed so I didn't lose the ability to walk, but for me as a person too. It was the beginning of an extremely long year but I can still count on one hand the amount of times i cried over it.

"Just remember, everything is okay and we'll get this sorted, it's only a two hour operation" the doctor reminded me as she ushered me into a curtained room, covered in crudely coloured octopi (a room I wouldn't stay in very long in the following few months). My mother sat down next to me and brushed my hair into a ponytail and back out. The hospital gown was white, with ugly pink flower blotches that we're barely attached to their translucent stems. Catching a glimpse of myself in the reflective window, my dad made a comment about how i looked like a Norman Rockwell painting.

Transcript Analysis

 

Participants: Mille (M) and Ella (E).

Transcript analysis of a communication exercise.

The communication exercise took place in the school cafeteria at 2:30pm, in a fairly busy environment so background noise can be heard throughout the entirety of the recording (although the majority of this murmur is not written/recorded due to an unnecessary inclusion).

At [00:00 seconds] (M) begins to communicate with (E), immediately using informal jargon to communicate her point across. The colloquial use of “gonna” is expressed throughout the transcript creating imagery of an informal situation. The micro-pauses (.) and pauses (n*) throughout the transcript/recording let us know that the speech is not rehearsed but spontaneously thought of in order to make sense of what was trying to be communicated towards (E). (Although forms of micro-pauses are obligatory or completely necessary and numbered or timed pauses could be included to leave time to follow complex instructions given by the main speaker). Other forms of delayed expressions are also used, including the phrase “hang on” and continuous stalling by asking questions for clarification from (M) to (E) such as: “is that right?”; “Which side are you  doing?” and “on which side?”.  The paralinguistic tone of voice in these questions is significantly different to the rest of the sentences which don’t include questions. 

At [00:30] (M) begins to leave longer pauses between words. Giving her time to assess what she will say to (E). The sentence that (M) says is obviously  clearer to (E) this is shown when (E) replies with a short, one worded answer; “Okay”, to clarify to (M) that what she said was made clear.  After this communication the language between the two subjects becomes less clear, including more questions to and from (M) and (E) with a significant rise in the number of micro-pauses (.) included, with a maximum waiting time of (5)seconds. This long wait between words and at the end of sentences not only gives the impression that what (M) was trying to communicate was complicated or complex to both subjects but also that subject (E) needed time to assess and clarify what she was going to do post instruction. The clarification word that comes across strongest is the term “Right?//right.”   This shows the reader that the two participants have formed an unconscious “safe” word to communicate affectively.

At the end of the transcript the language begins to alter. Shifting dramatically from standard communication (back and forth) to a communication whereas participant (M) begins to [laugh] repeatedly throughout. This sudden outburst ends the communication exercise.