Have you Ever been lied to? In the
office, at school, by your friends, girlfriends or boyfriends? And is it really
that much of a big deal?...
Sitting in my oxford university apartment,
which I had to tell a few white lies to get, I’m thinking to myself, what is
lying and why do we do it?
Ella Keating
If I was to ask you whether or not the times you’ve apologized have been legitimately genuine or whether you said ‘I’m sorry’ just so you didn’t
have to face another minute of you opponents/ partners (same sort of thing)
flushed red cheeks and obviously
incorrect comments directed towards your
obviously incorrect statements. Or when you lent your newest acquaintance a
subtly satin, beautiful crafted, excessively expensive handbag that you “don’t need
for a couple of weeks anyway”, with the hope of meeting a new fashion friend
who you can destroy the office with only using your powers of fashion and
friendship. Only to figure how much you hated her. But ALAS! How can you simply
ask her for your bag back when you can’t
even look directly at her out of pure principle! What to do next? Face
the trauma of politely stating that you needed it back? NO! Don’t be so
ridiculous…Find someone who to tell a lie about how much they hated you too and
‘oh that’s a nice bag! Can I borrow it for a while, I don’t like her much
either I promise I won’t tell”. Only to breathe a sigh of relief when you witness
the passing of the glistening satin into
your friends hands to then gather in the ladies loo’s and bitch about her with
your lying friend and your newly retrieved item…
Whilst sitting on my own, cocktail in hand on the white
sandy beaches of Hawaii (AKA my brand new, bare white flat and a cheap lemonade
and vodka in hand) I came to the realisation that not only do I need other
items in my house and not only a sofa bed but that maybe I lie more than I realise.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am not a pathological liar who manipulates people
into doing things for me…all the time. However, my fake ID at the age of 16 was
when the lying began. Holding hands with my 19 year old boyfriend (who told me
he was religious but something told me otherwise) and walking to pretty much
anywhere with the “cool kids” that my parents strongly disapproved of (which I protested
against usually with “it doesn’t matter anyway mum! I don’t hang around with
them often and oh my god no they don’t smoke any ‘green matter’…) Now I know
what you’re thinking, “Damn, fake ID, cool friends that smoked green matter…or
not…this girl got it all!” or most likely; “Big deal Ella! Everyone had a fake
ID! HELL I still use mine”. To begin with, yes at the time it felt like I had
it all and secondly let’s not kid ourselves here…put the ID joke to rest. But lying
to my loving, caring parents who had “clearly never spat a filthy lie once in
OUR ENTIRE LIVES ELLA”-Mr.Keating 2014, was the most rebellious thing anyone in
my village has EVER DONE. We all know that if we do something for 25 days,
every day then it becomes a natural habitable state. Let’s just say the summer
of 2005 did not involve Roller Rinks and picnics with the girls… (Sorry mummy).
Unless a godly saint of all holiness has landed directly on top of your soul
and has taken over with its own non rebellious, non-lying, non-cheating (sorry
boyfriend of 2005) personality then just please say, out loud, (and proud?): “I
am a mildly subconscious liar”. Don’t tell me that you did because you didn’t.
Who would? No one wants to openly admit that they are a liar. But by denying it…Aren’t
you just lying?
However, on thought, lying happens in every single day of
your ‘thrilling and adventurous life’ that you pursue…at least according to
Amanda in finance? How was your holiday by the way? Full of stomach bugs and hot, sleepless
nights? Didn’t think so… It happens in the street because that attractive woman
isn’t that busy and yeah we all carry change but I haven’t seen proof Mr Charity
man so no thank you. At work, at home and in almost every establishment you’ve ever
walked into. But why can’t lying be used for the greater good? That dress doesn’t
actually make you look thinner but a “you look beautiful” will make anybody
feel good. As long as your lies don’t damage, harm, hurt or offend anyone then isn’t
it just a natural thing?
And also mum and dad, Santa and the tooth fairy aren’t real.
I’m 24 stop signing letters from them. But I guess I should tell you that he
was 21 not 19.
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